So one of these days maybe I’ll have some time to blog! 
P.S., it’s not that I haven’t been writing… I just haven’t had time to finish and post them.
P.P.S., Since I haven’t been posting, I wanted to put up something pretty to look at. The painting above is by Jura Bedic and is sold at the gallery I work for: www.annlongfineart.com
I just want to take a minute and admire something about my husband. He is incredible. I just want to say that he is the most transparent person I have ever encountered, nay, more transparent than I ever thought human beings were capable of. Honestly. And he is so without intention or deliberation or inhibition or self-consciousness. It is most definitely a gift. Of course, every gift has a flip-side however minor it may be. Sometimes he will unknowingly blurt out something that is embarrassing to me, himself, or maybe the person whom he is speaking to. I turn pink, and later I make it clear that I don’t like being embarrassed. However, even if the person is caught off-guard, they don’t mind. I think the reason is that they know they’re seeing the complete, unashamed, laid bare soul of another person. And that is rare. So very, very rare. If you know Chris then you know how much people absolutely adore him. You probably do too, because his heart seems so honest, so reflective of our Maker’s heart, that we want more. We want more of that glimpse into the Lord’s eyes that we see in my husband.
I was reading his blog the other day (see blogroll for link), and I was so not surprised by his entries. I don’t mean that his writing is boring–it isn’t. I just mean that he’d already told me, discussed with me everything that is on his heart- the same heart that he shares with you and the world on his blog. He can’t help but be himself, whether it’s his wife or anyone! And I realized that I knew what he would write about because he doesn’t hold back. I think sometimes (when I am busy deluding myself) that I am so mysterious, because I don’t share all of my heart with people, but the reality is that I am guarded. Much more than I think is necessary, much more than I would like.
I am so thankful that God has given me a husband that inspires me to be a better person–a person more like the God that brought us together.
My family so makes me laugh. I love them all dearly, but I don’t think that we’re normal! We all got together last night for dinner, and to visit with my aunt before she flew back to CA. Mom and John, auntie, me and chris, nate/carrie/kids. Our idea of “after dinner fun” was to rearrange the house. Now don’t get me wrong- I love decorating- but I don’t think families usually do this. We chatted about paint swatches, where to put this chair, that loveseat (chris won out on this one), this table, that table…and that table and that table…
We also discovered that my mom and her fiance are perfectly matched for one another, sheerly based on their extraordinary amounts of tables. You’ve never seen so many tables! Anyway, though, we had so much fun together. We moved and discussed and moved some more, visualized future changes to the lot of it, all while my husband was sneaking cookies to the kids in the kitchen, after which they ran like tiny maniacs around the coffee table.
anyway, tables or no tables, i guess that’s what family is for. It was a blast.
…is me. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ve heard people say that elephants have an incredibly durable memory. Taking this to heart, I think that elephants must have memories that persevere circumstances that say the exact opposite; i.e., remembering that a person who is normally quite friendly is only having a bad day when said person is treating said elephant with contempt. (Please note: I am not condoning elephant neglect, and am in fact opposed to it; this example is merely for the sake of illustration.) Mr. Elephant remembers the good and isn’t distracted by these circumstances today. He remembers the good even when there’s no visible sign of the good. I am the exact opposite, but it seems only so with God. I shall elaborate:
God has proven himself utterly and outrageously faithful, not just overall to humanity but even to me, in my own teensy life. He’s done it a million times! Really. And every time, I stand there in awe, as if I was expecting something else from God, who cannot even be anything but faithful (“…for He cannot deny Himself…”).
I am always relieved and grateful when He provides and comes through. Then here comes the next little storm, and I start running around like a crazy woman, completely forgetting the last time the Lord bailed me out, even though the last storm may be as recent as the day before. Rather than simply looking at my knowledge–not just my faith, but my knowledge–and stepping forward steadily knowing who my God is and always will be, I look at my circumstances and try to determine what will happen next. Mrs. Susie Elephant is content (and relatively cool and collected) because she doesn’t forget to remember.
Perhaps one day I will learn her secret.
So I feel compelled to share with you something incredible that God did in someone else’s life. Actually, I guess it’s not that incredible for God- it’s really just an average work of the awesome, praise-worthy, all-knowing, all-powerful, one and only true God.
So I was at the unFiltered service at Seacoast two Sundays ago, and for whatever whimsy, I decided to join those who stand by the wall at the end of the service to pray for anyone who might need some. Only one girl came up to me; she briefly shared an area of her life that she knew was an area of sin. It was clear to me that this thing had it’s grip deep in her heart. Her hands shook nervously as I held them and prayed. Afterwards, she went on her way. That week at Every Tuesday, I took the initiative to pray for others again, and she came up. My heart felt for her. I knew the feeling of living with this horrible habit or attitude or behavior that haunted every moment–it’s evil creeping through every crevice of your life. I prayed for her, and I made a mental note to remember her in my prayers throughout the week.
She came to my mind while I was driving home from work one day that week, and I briefly thought, Lord, be with her today. I immediately felt the conviction in my heart say, “no. You turn off your radio, and you pray out loud for her. Right now.” I obeyed. As the words started out of my mouth I felt the presence of a greater strength joining forces with me, echoing me. Lord, break the bondage on her life. Break the chains. Deliver her in Jesus’ name. Then I stopped. This peace of assurance came over me, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt in my heart that it was done. She had been set free. I rejoiced in my heart, and I prayed that she would make the right choices and embrace this new found freedom everyday.
So Sunday rolled around, and there I found myself standing by the wall again. Here she came from her seat, and I started thinking of how to tell her what happened when I prayed for her the other day in my car. As I opened my mouth to speak, she touched my arm with firm hand, and said with steady voice, “Thank you.” Then she walked away. She knew. Without my saying anything she knew!
I am so excited to share this story not only because God brought about healing and deliverance for her, but because so much of the time, I think that God needs my help. Sure, He used my prayer and used me in the smallest of ways to minister to her, but He healed her. It wasn’t my prayer that she felt; it was what He did in her heart. That’s the reality of ministry. What we do is needed- but it is God that changes the hearts, He makes the difference when they are willing to accept it. Praise the Lord that it’s not up to me (or you, for that matter)!
Sometimes I wonder how I got here…like, exactly when did the last 23 years go flying by, and why didn’t anyone tell me? Every time I experience some sort of monumental life moment (whether ginormous or barely noticeable) I wonder, “who is this grown up running my life?” And then I look in the mirror and there she is, staring at me. I think that our culture’s obsession with youth originated because no one feels grown up inside. It’s like the world is actually just a bunch of kids that only look like grown ups.
My husband and I are building a house. And we go up there to our builders and talk all about mortgages, and escrow, and countertops, and building permits, and the housing market, and insurance. And then we get in the car and look at each other and giggle because we’re both thinking, “do you think they caught onto us? Do they know they’re giving two kids the keys to a house?!” We laugh about it a lot actually. I guess I’m beginning to realize that this is it, you know? Yeah, we are in our early twenties and are newlyweds and some people would say that we really are just babies. But I mean this is adulthood. We’ll get older and life will go on, always, but this feeling of timelessness on the inside isn’t going anywhere. When I was little–actually, even still–I wanted to be grown up, beyond the phase I was in. Lots of people do that, I think. Now, I guess it feels like I’m catching up with myself. Like I’ve already caught up with myself and just didn’t know it. It seemed to me that there would be this moment where you’d stop feeling like a kid inside, and that’s what I wanted. But now I’m thinking–hey, I’m hoping!–that this feeling won’t go away. I want to be 75, giggling with my husband because nobody caught on that they let two little kids run around like grown ups for 50-some years!
And now that I’m realizing growing up isn’t a moment…I guess I made it! (Don’t tell!) 
after thinking over my week/weekend, i just wanted to share my favorite moments…
- having my husband show up unexpectedly at my work with a tall skinny vanilla latte. what a man!
- the valentine’s day dinner i made…yuummm!
- picking out paint colors for the house we’re building (i know i know, but i love things like this!)
- wii bowling!
- while playing tennis with chris, nate, and carrie, watching my 20 month old niece stand at the edge of the court and play with the zipper on her jacket (i don’t think she could have been less interested!)
- chris and i dancing around our apartment to country songs
- our cleansing streams class on saturday morning- it was early, but it was more than worth it.
…i think that’s all for now. i hope your week is filled with tiny moments that brighten your day, and that you catch every single one of them.
